goodbye.

***note:  this blog was started last Tuesday, the day my sister went home***

this morning, I said goodbye to my sister.

now feeling blue.

sometimes, I wonder if it’s harder to have people in my life, than not to have people in my life.

but then I quickly reset.  life is all about letting fulfilling relationships in.  and letting un-fulfilling relationships go.

my sister and I talked a lot about the past.

as often occurs when any of us get together.

infrequent visits, are muddled together with what was, and what could have been.  and what next?  with lots of laughs and a few tears throughout.  and a new focus on what is.

so many thoughts jumble up in my head whenever I’m faced with my family from afar.  how I miss them!   the candor. the positivity. the laughs. the support!  and the authenticity.

my Dad.  my oldest younger sister.  my stepMum.  and then the youngest, who just left today.

but for the last year and a half, I find that I don’t sink into the despair of how lucky my sisters are as easily as I used to.

wow.

what  a difference a couple of years can make.  even pre-MS the new-ness started to sink in.

****

I didn’t finish this post, as I was getting sucked into a slightly negative vortex…so I stopped typing.  love that – that is an option!  but I revisited this post today while my hub and I were enjoying a long lunch.  and it called me to be posted.  so here, I am posting a partial post.

back to work tomorrow.  garage is officially organized and cleaned out.  myers-briggs certification almost achieved (still have one more thing to do!).  brain MRI complete (I’ll find out the results on 9/24).  ten hours of sleep a night.  every night.  can’t wait to get back to the routine of work.  ha!  😉

xo

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