46/50: weight a second?

dear Universe,

so while driving home tonight, I was thinking about how I’m gaining weight.  and how I feel about that.

maybe you can help me out here!

not sure I like it, but I like how much more healthy I’m looking and feeling these days.

there’s that unfortunately/fortunately dichotomy again.

I lost ten pounds post-diagnosis.  stressed about an auto-immune disorder and eating did NOT work for me.  I know that weight has been returned to my body.  plus.

trying not to think about the WG too much.  as you know what that does.  I know you know that I know.  but sometimes I forget.  😉

must be why I have stopped reading, The Four Day Win.

because I’m cool with gaining some weight, right?

uh huh.  no, no.

don’t need to acknowledge I have been eating everything in sight.

all day long while at work.

embarrassed that every time my new boss walks into my office, I’m eating.  he’s gonna have to say something one of these days.

and never-mind the hershey kisses.  I can’t stop buying bags of them, for my work peeps, of course.  uh huh.  esp. those white chocolate peppermint kisses of loveliness.

a box of crackers.  no problem.  a day max, it takes me to eat.  the whole box.  they’re gluten-free though!

I won’t even step on the scale.  I just don’t want to know.

not to mention, I have also stepped off the bike since the MSRide.  even the stationary bike has been stagnant.

and of course, while blogging daily…multiple times/day, there is just not enough time in the day….to do everything my mind and body want to do….so some things just HAVE to slip.

uh huh.  right.

dang!

maybe I’ll try the not worrying about my weight part of this equation and see what happens.  by focusing on gaining/not gaining weight, I’ll gain weight.  it’s standard LOA stuff.  I know this.

but now, I’m a bit muddled up…I don’t want to send mixed messages!  so what should I be thinking about?? help!  I know, I know, you’ll probably want me to explore the WHY of all this.  and is it TRUE that I’m gaining weight?

maybe I’ll just focus on feeling good right now in my body, because it sure has been feeling good lately.

please help.

sincerely,

confused.

xox

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4 thoughts on “46/50: weight a second?

  1. Just read chapter 10 in The Artist’s Way. Might help.

    Love this line: maybe I’ll just focus on feeling good right now in my body, because it sure has been feeling good lately.

    Love you thick or thin. Don’t you feel the same about me. Take off the label. Lose the thought that anything should be different than reality, and you will keep feeling good.

    The why? Maybe there’s a creative block brewing. xo

    • thanks Lori…annoying how we forget what we know sometimes. thought much less than my old days, which is good. became The Watcher today…and noticed when I reached for food. and didn’t have to eat the entire box. coincidence or not, after doing some self-battle last night…my body ended up not feeling so good today! I will pull out chap 10. I do believe I’m already blocked. 😉 love you too thick or thin… xo

  2. Glad you’re feeling better — that’s the most important part! I have a hunch you’re eating at work as a diversion for something you don’t want to feel; tell me where I’m wrong?
    As Lori said, I love you thick or thin! Can you have compassion for yourself?

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