the above thought hit me earlier today, while re-reading a poem that one of my friends had posted on FB when I shared my breaking heart.
the poem has been rolling around in my thoughts since it was posted.
at first, I wanted to throw it away.
but it didn’t want to be thrown away.
the words kept showing up. and then they made sense. Sunday night. the words made sense.
my beloved Grandma has taken a turn for the worse. the words have been touching and poking various parts of my thoughts. mind. emotions.
When I Die, by Merrit Malloy. I have copied it below…
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
And old(er generations) that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not on your mind.
You can love me most
Hands touch hands,
Bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
So, when all that’s left of me
Give me away.
so beautiful. I see it.
and if I can muster the courage, I will read this for my Grandma. one day.
what is gone lives on.
and with that, we have control of what we want to keep. and what we let go. and that’s okay.
Saturday was the hardest day. so far.
I will forget the morning. but keep the evening. my choice.