Done with 2014.

Almost a year since I blogged.  WTH?

Quick self-indulgent catch up from 2014:

1.  Bring on February – new job.  The best move I’ve made of recent career life.  I had no idea how much stress I put my soul and my body through over the last five years…until I stopped doing that old job.  Cool.  How much I learned about being a manager once I was no longer a manager.  Every manager should give that a go.

2.  Bring on 40 – April.  That whole month was rotten.  And not because of the number.  I have never felt so young (and not in a good way) as I did when I turned 40.  That was my lowest point of the year.  BUT, I still had a rockin’ brilliant party.

3.  Bring on some minor flares that speckled the entire year.  Grrrr.  The beast that lives within likes to remind me that she’s there.  From fatigue to pain to increasing eye problems….she lurks in the shadows waiting to rumble with me.  But nothing too serious.  Thank God!  On this topic, I also added acupuncture to my regimen.  LOVE it!  Saturdays  – after boot camp… 😉  Oh, and I switched treatments officially to three shots/week.  Grrr, but way better than seven.

4.  Bring on BOOT CAMP.  Best thing I’ve done for myself over the last nine years – I began working my body a month after turning 40.  Whoooweee – so much fun.  So hard.  I love it.  This was one of the few times that I didn’t over-think joining HB Fit Body Boot Camp, and then followed the trainer to Ultrafit Boot Camp.  Talk about a life reset.  My body loves it.  My soul loves it.  My energy levels have improved, my muscle spasms – so much better, and my overall well-being = almost brilliant.  I have muscles now!  I think all my friends are beginning to roll their eyes, when I start out with…”At boot camp…” >> every conversation includes a boot camp mention…I love it that much.

5.  Bring on the first BIG road trip of my life.  From Huntington Beach to Portland.  Trips to Vegas don’t count….Though, I wouldn’t mind one of those.  2100 miles in 8 days.  Brilliant.

6.  25 miles on the bike.  Bring it.  Been there and did that in October.  For MS.  YES!  Also a top Bike MS fundraiser – second year running.  Can’t wait to do the ride again this year.

7.  Bring on writing.  Another 50K words slapped down on the page, and I’m 9K words away from completing my first official rough rough draft of 110K words.  Note to self:  DO that.

8.  Holidays at home with our kids.  Mwah.  Though this year, I know I’ll be itching to get away…sorry fur babies!

9.  Wine club with the girls.  ‘Nuff said.

Hello 2015.  The hub and I will celebrate 10 years of married bliss in July.  Ha!  What’s up for you in 2015?

xo

PS.  Hardly any proof-reading on this one…so forgive me.

Advertisements

Longest time…

…since I have posted.  Longest time since I began blogging in 2011.  Go figure.  I might just be over the…you know what.

Er. no offense on any front.

I love blogging.  But, lots going outside of my writing world since the new year.  Visit from my oldest younger sista.  Fab!

New job = brilliant.

Plus with the added bonus…

I feel the healthiest…and strongest I have in…years.  Seriously.

Turns out my brain needed a massive reset.  Along with daily physical workouts.

Tomorrow I have the dreaded weekly Monday reports…but I will overcome!  Other than Monday reports – it is brilliant.  Everything I wanted.  Creativity.  Logic.  Getting sh*t done.  I am 100% accountable for me.  No one else.

Wow.  Who knew what a weight my old job was on me… I felt responsible for every single person on my team.  Including myself.

I could not be happier on the work front…well, until I finish the official first draft of my novel…quietly resting in the background.  For the first time since end of November, today, I felt the familiar (but overdue) heat begin to burn…

Inspired after reading an essay on FB tonight…which brought tears to my eyes…I can’t NOT do this.

…so I will resume the adventures of my Tasha, JayZen, Patrick, and Sara…all guided by an invisible unicorn…or?

Who knew that unicorns are so popular these days…?

or maybe they always were…

xox

NEW.

It’s only 18 days into the New Year, and I am landing a new job!  A job that didn’t exist until this year.

I start over 2/3.  Wow.  Immensely grateful for this opportunity!

Excited.  Nervous.  Relaxed.

NEW.

Being in the same job for the last nine+ years, this is quite the switch for me.  Turns out that growing roots does not become me.

As Martha Beck said to me>>I am living in a dead square 4 as far as career goes.  Yep.

Yeah but, I liked my secure comfort zone.

Though, after writing the first half of my book in November, I’m not sure what that zone looks like anymore.

Evidence #1:  Adopted a three-legged cat when I said I was over cats.  Cat preceded November, but still abnormal behavior.

Evidence #2:  Dyed my blond locks mahogany dark brown four weeks ago.  Just because.    Turns out it’s my natural color.  The only roots showing up are a dusting of arctic highlights and some old blonde wanting to poke through, but failing.

Evidence #3:  Willingness to take a pay cut, lose the title, office, and my car.  For the NEW job.  Just because it’s new and exciting.  And in an area that I’m passionate to learn more.   Do more.  Serve more.  Create more.

Change = good.

Feels right.  Fulfilling.  Expansive.

Same company.

About time.  And in the department that I listed on my career development box for my annual performance plan.  For the last five years.  Er. I gotta up my LOA skills.  😉

CRM/Marketing. Website development.  Maintenance.  eCommerce.  Training.  Support. Tracking.

New cohort.  100% female.

Check in on 2/8 after adding 10K more words to my novel and surviving week one on the job.

Do you hear the whoosh?

I do…and it’s getting louder as I close in on the biggest voluntary career change I have made.  EVER.

Completed first draft comes next.

xox

dreaming.

As 2013 begins to close out, I dreamed of a burning overstuffed kitchen trashcan this morning. The flames licked the papers and trash, dangerously close to spilling onto our wood floors.  I desperately looked around for water to put out the smoke-less fire, but could not find any thing to douse the flames.  In frustration and fear, I attempted to close the plastic trash bag around the flames, but ended up irritating the fire further…

I then woke up poking my husband in the arm to please tell me that he put out the fire in the kitchen? Only answer I received was a string of chuckles.  Apparently, I have been sleep talking this week.

(Time away from work-work does that to me.)

This wasn’t my first burning dream, but it’s been at least a decade since the last one.  Long time ago I had repeat dreams that an errant cigarette smoldered under the sheets in my bed…

During a time when I was experiencing massive change in my life on many levels.

I am, of course, curious to find out what this means to/for me now, a decade later, when life has been relatively stable. (Er., outside of MS joining the party along with too many family losses.)  Or is this simply the result of leaning into Stephen King’s masterpiece, On Writing?

But, I have a hunch there is change yet again on the near horizon…Year of the Horse will soon be upon us and my first book (draft) complete by end Q1.  Oooh, I just got goosebumps typing that.  Can’t help it.  Do I dare share my draft title?!  Uh.  Not yet.  😉 Let’s just say it’s chick-lit, laced with some self-help woo-woo and maybe a unicorn or two.  Er, writing a book within a book is d*mn hard!

Huh.  Change.

Book?  Changes with work?  Back to school? A Master’s degree?!  New friends?  Turning 40. (No ? required for that last one.)   Travel?  New home?  All appear to be waiting up ahead, but oddly…things feel closer than they have in the past.  Whooo hoo!  Bring it!

What fires you up ahead in 2014?!  Do share!!

Wishing you the most happy, healthy, and abundant year ahead!  I am so grateful that you take the time from your day to read my nonsensical keystrokes!  I still giggle any time someone finds my blog when searching for INFJ Death Stare…which happens almost every other day…

Have a safe New Year’s out there people!!

xox

> 50K words.

done and done.

in 29 days.  wowzer!  all in accordance with NaNoWriMo guidelines.  50K words in the month of November.  fiction.  new.

how much fun November was!  I cannot remember a better, more fun, fulfilling span of time!

how good, strong, and healthy did I feel.

now I can finally say that I have written 50,000 words of fiction.

currently, words are escaping me.  as the hub said tonight, I can take a break.

but I’m not done yet! was my reply.  as I scratched out chapters 7-13 titles last night.

so I will continue.

I have not felt more alive than did over the last month.  so why not?

will the real unicorn please stand up?

xo

ps.  last MRI results = beautiful.

20,003 words.

skipped Thursday (mostly), Friday (completely), Saturday (sparse, at best).

but today, I conquered a protagonist becoming bored with me.  her work week is over (she dreads weekends).

and of course, overcoming the 20K words.

goal for the week.

GRRR.  another 10K awaits.

along with work stress. and a desire to hang out with friends, both of the human variety.  and furry.

but, I will keep writing.  the words flowed easily once I realized I was not wearing my new writing corduroy jeans.   they are clean now, no worries.

tomorrow, begins my book within a book.  feeling a little intimidated by this, but, whatever.

have a good week, and write on!

xo

 

 

10,000 words.

quick update.

I am hooked.  period.  hook.  line. and whatever.  I love, love to write.

especially sh*tty first drafts.  with reckless freedom.

even my hub commented that I look healthier. and happier.  since I have been writing.  uh.  since Friday.

I have spilled out over 10,000 words over the last three days.  the majority this weekend.

at this rate, I’m scheduled to finish NaNoWriMo by 11/15.

er. not sure that will happen, but we will see.  work has to take priority M-F 6:30-6:30.  so we will see.

all, I can say is that it took me THREE years to write 12K words for my Anya and Jillian.

go figure.  all I needed was a plan.  and a deadline.

guess I am a project manager at heart.

in the zone.

keep on rocking what you do, people!

xox

one sleep…

sooo…getting super nervy tonight…2 hours and 41 mins until it’s write-off time!

er. what?

wait a second. NaNoWriMo time.

entry scene already viewed in my mind.  so clear, it’s like I’m there.

book launch party. my protagonist is bored. and frustrated.  so she begins drinking to take her mind off what is really weighing her down…

cliche.  but, that’s cool.

what will show up from there??  I can’t wait to find out…but I have a few ideas!

talked to a work peep today who writes…we love how things just show up…that is just so dang cool.

I just gotta show up for that to happen.

T -2 hours.

xo

Dartboard.

Have you ever grabbed a bunch of darts and thrown them at a dartboard…all at the same time?

How’d you do?

Lemme guess…

They all went flying haphazardly no where even close to the sweet spot…the bulls-eye.

Maybe not even close to the larger real estate of the dartboard…or perhaps they didn’t find a place to land at all; they just tumbled pathetically to the floor.

That’s how I have been feeling over the last couple of years. I wanted to grab at anything and everything I could in order to get just one dart to stick.

Too many darts being thrown all at once. Not enough focus on one to get that one to stick.

Took me this long to figure that out.

Work. Writing. Mish-mosh blogging. Coaching. Career counseling. Project Management. EFT. Small business development. Fundraising. Class after class.

And while everything listed above ignites a passion in me…I’m spread too thin across all of them to get even one to stick.

Huh. So while being sucked into Breaking Bad over the last two weeks and cuddling with our new orange three-legged tabby (our puppers could not be happier!), I have done some serious nothing.

And as a result I have found my focus narrowing…

I still have my JOB. Might as well do that well. Okay.

So what do I really want to do well outside of that?

One word surfaced easily.

WRITE.

Next month marks NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. 50K words in 30 days.

I’m just gonna grab that dart and fire.

Catch y’all after I resurface on December 1. Or maybe somewhere along the way when I have lost my mind.

I can’t wait to begin writing…I already have my story mapped out on my iPhone notepad and in my head. This one is brand new…and I didn’t know it was in there waiting for me to give it life. I had been so focused on Jillie and Annie that I have been ignoring the other characters that want to be heard. Turns out there’s a whole bunch of ’em. Can’t wait to give them a voice.

xo

two years.

wow.

the fact that today marks the day I was diagnosed with MS didn’t hit me until I was prepping myself to do my 3x/week Copaxone shot tonight.

(Tuesday night’s was a beast.  I still have an extremely tender two-inch red lump on my right thigh.)

tonight’s was easy breezy…fyi.  thank you God!

so yup, my two-year anniversary didn’t hit me until tonight.  I must have been distracted by all that is – including today being Talk Like a Pirate Day.  after this realization struck me, all I could mutter out loud to the dog was shit…and then laugh at myself.  no wonder the hub was being extra lovey this morning and appreciative of my appearance as I bounced out the door in my new white swan blouse and red suede heels.  love that blouse.  he even texted me after he got to work:  how you do today baby?  that didn’t even jog my memory.  he remembered though.  what an amazing man!

wow.

I officially forgot about it…

two years to make that happen.

xo