slippage.

how easy it is to slip into the company of unhappy when it comes a JOB.

both the mental unhappy – why aren’t things different?

and the emotional unhappy – why can’t I do more than just this JOB?

er. because this is what I signed up for…hello!

…and how super easy it is (for me) to slip in the yuck when someone else is feeling fearful.

I have a tendency to jump right off the high dive with ‘em… whaaat?

can feel my heart beat quickening.  but not in a good way.

my pulse pumping blood through my veins.  I know my BP increases when I feel this way;  if I look down @ my chest, I can see how fast blood is pumping in and out of my heart.  not my heart beat.

but the pressure-full blood moving in and out.

do I jump??  do I?

and then my ego, lizard voice begins to chime in.  or did she show up first?

huh.  she begins squawking out of my mouth.  well, she said x, then y, and can you believe it, that ZZZZ happened?  the ego pushes me right out there so I can be there with my friend…and what she’s going through.

not what I am.

my fear partner in crime chimes in and says, really, say more! with her eyes wide open.

and then the dialogue continues in a somewhat stilted symphony, until it reaches a crescendo that overwhelms both of us.

and we take pause.  and I realize what I’m doing.  she realizes what we’re doing.

we look at each other.  and laugh.

without saying anything, we both realize how nut-so ridiculous we are being – who wants to be the whiner?

but it bonds so gracefully.  😉

we pause.  and breathe.  and begin to rejoice all the good that a JOB brings us…

and then everything returns to baseline.  phew!

I see myself doing this almost every day.  it’s so easy to slip into the negative – yet I hate going there, it feels crappy.  when all I really want to do is coast the sparkly rainbow highway.  which is always overhead.  and certainly not over-rated.

do you do this?  I know I can’t be the only mulligan or corporate junkie who does.

come on, and share.  I’ll jump right in there with ya.  😉

xo

Advertisements

what a difference an hour makes.

I used to always despise moving the clock forward.

losing a whole hour from the precious, beautiful weekend hours. boof that!

but didn’t feel that way this weekend.

I actually lined through everything on the TO DO list.

let me frame the momentum of this: I have never, ever completed every thing that I have set out to do that is on my dreaded to do list.

so I’m calling this a small victory. so satisfying! (really am a J to the core, and that’s okay!)

the first of many victories, I say.

takes some turtle steps to get moving, doesn’t it!?

one thing I did differently for this to do list.

I grouped the items into categories:

Saturday.

– non-negotiables.

Un-fun work.

– bills, errands, taxes. boof! laundry…wait a second – laundry wasn’t even on my list – and I still did that. whaaaat?!

Fun work.

– B-School stuff. outline draft #1 for my upcoming workshop on Myers-Briggs Step II – In addition to being totally awesome, who am I, really? synced iTunes. and installed MS Office on my laptop (h*ll yes, that one is HUGE…see ya Pages! 😉

this B-School biz is going to change my life. it already is. again.

how many times can a girl’s life be changed?! first time when I was given a copy of The Secret in 2006. second time after I discovered Martha Beck….and it was all downstream from there…

it never ends does it?

I have, “life is not a destination, it’s a journey,” posted on the inside of my medicine cabinet. not sure who wrote it. but it’s a gem.

back to B-School, it hit me this weekend that I have a LONG A*S list of things that I’m interested in, once I started writing them all down. things that inspire me. give me goose bumps. get me into the flow. you know – flow – when time evaporates? don’t you love it when that happens!? (there has to be a way to make money in the flow. I am determined to figure that out. 😉

(most of this stuff I love has been vomited all over this blog mess that I have created – I get it! it’s a confusing mess of practical? advice? life coaching tidbits. dream work. bits and pieces of my messy soul. fiction fun. Myers-Briggs. photography. life. memoirs. health stuff – boof!)

time to wrap it all. or deconstruct it. some way. some how.

expect a massive clean up on this website over the summer-fall months. don’t know what it will look like, but it’s coming.

the hub is holding me to NOT sign up for any more coursework until I make time for my business. (shhhh… I know I’m going to secretly take another writing course – as that is a non-negotiable on my inspiration list. can anyone say Danielle LaPorte…?)

per Marie Forleo, everything is figure-outable. go figure. 😉

what’s on your list?!

think about it.

xo

ps. some day must share the crazy dream I had with Tyra Banks in it Friday night…where did she come from?! and there I was ooohing and awwwwing along with the rest of her followers. strange! (not really one by the way, but not judging…just sayin’!) and the hilarious scene when she showed a group of us what she does with a full paper towel roll. could not stop laughing when I shared her dream advice with my hub!